I would rather not fit in…thank you!

Why fit in when you were born to stand out? Dr. Seuss.


Where do I begin?  I will start in the middle.

Life has a funny way of putting you in your place, often via embarrassing moments such as a proper dress down by your boss in full view of your juniors. Life can also put you in your place by closing all doors, windows and cracks; especially the ones you insist on using when God clearly has better plans for you.

My current season, has me reflecting, trying and failing, and using routes that I would never have dared travel. I have come to realize my strengths, and am battling with my weaknesses, much to God’s amusement (if only I can learn to lean not on my own understand…). There are things, however that make me stand out…nay, stick out like a sore thumb. I would not trade them for the world, even though with some, my opinion was not sought, I was born with it.

So let me begin with the obvious.


Presently trending as plus size. Meaning, I have refused to be the socially acceptable size 8. Because desert is stress spelt backwards, and how I do love my pastries.  Some plus size friends and I recently visited a market, in hunt of couture gowns with which to grace the runway. And boy did we turn heads! A shower of unwelcome comments followed us, at some point we drew a crowd.

“sister…si umekula sana!”

“Sioni ukitoshea kwa hii kiti!”

“ Hapa hakuna size yako!”

“Shukuru Mungu…si umeumbwa!”

Whoever said that sarcasm is the lowest form of intelligence was the smartest fool in class. The responses coming from my lady friends is worthy of an entire article. In this market, sarcasm was like pearls on swine . Nevertheless, I had a barrel of laughs.

Nappy Haired.

I have a glorious head of hair, which depending on my mood is a blessing or an absolute bother! I was very much the mbalas wearing type, before I got tired of sitting under steaming bowls, and having to “burn” my hair to achieve what society thinks is the hairy version of neat. To that I showed my middle finger and cut it all off. I felt like I had been reborn, I could stand under the shower and enjoy running water while in a vertical position (as opposed to seated at a sink in the salon, facepalm!).  For the longest time I refused to use an umbrella, and enjoyed watching Uchumi and Nakumatt gather instant brand ambassadors (another reason why we will not embrace paper over plastic). I just learnt that some professions will not allow dreadlocks, because of a stereotype. The day people understand that I am not my hair will be a cool day in hell.

Bow legged.

We are a very limited and small club. Comprising of folk such as myself, Beckam and Beyonce. So you can see how talent and all things nice comes with a bow?


Often mistaken for rudeness.

Please do understand that I mean well. However, when an opportunity presents itself, my tongue conspires with my brain and all manner of utterances are born.  Depending on your mood, you may choose to be amused… or offended. I will often fail to notice which way you have chosen to go, because life is short, and I have things to be, such as sarcastic.

So you see, ladies and gentlemen, I am many things to many people, and the earth has 8 billion people. What other people think of you is chiefly their business (except he who wields the power to terminate your employment or render you homeless), so go on and be bold. Refuse to be average, blending in should be the business of Marangi and company, find other people who will sharpen your person and make you want to be better. Go on, prosper!

Author: spicewithlelo

I will tell it...brace yourself!

2 thoughts on “I would rather not fit in…thank you!”

  1. I had to really sit myself down a few years ago and agreed with myself that I am who I am ! Whoever does not like it can go on a long walk into the Amazon….without a map!
    As for the doors, windows and cracks, I must say I have seen considerable improvements in detecting when I’m done with something or someone and that its time to move to the next stage. Of course I occasionally put up a fight once in a while, but there’s always that voice inside me that says; (*in Morgan Freeman’s voice) “We are done here John, it’s time for the next step”.
    Anyway, this was such a refreshing read!


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