Please, allow me to set the background for my story from this scripture.
The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”
“No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.”
3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate.4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”
Flash forward to present times.
The city is Nairobi, the year 2015. The motto: anything goes.
I have had various conversations with all manner of people, and one thing becomes clear with each person. No one wants to be alone or celibate. Which brought me of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, where man had become a law unto himself, and desire took the place of reason.
The search to belong, in one way or another has taken a turn that can only be labelled as alarming. Apparently, there are four categories of people who up the stakes for those who are already spoken for, and introduce a matrix worth studying.
If you are not someone’s exes, please skip on to the next category.
There is obviously that one guy/ chic you never really got over. You catch glimpses of her (for the purposes of this article, I will use her to refer to both sexes…because I can) in the streets, even though she moved to Sweden six years ago. You continuously redo the break up conversation, wondering if you could still rekindle that fire. You wish you could gather the guts to call them up and find out… but she is presently out of your league, and playing catch up is not your style. She is the ghost you will never put to rest.
Then there is the ex you never really broke up with. Because your smart phone knows when to dial her up, when the night is cold and your intended chips has been carried by someone else. You also call her up, because your partner has irritated the itch into your weave, and you want to tell someone how upset you are. You also are bored, and want some excitement, so the ex will serve this purpose, for this night only, and probably any other as the need arises. Yes, she is your ex, but only where your partner is concerned.
Then there is the ex who is “unflashable”. You have tried all ways, and even send a delegation to put the point across. But no, she will not, can not move on. She calls you incessantly, she wants you back, especially now that you are married and have a baby on the way. She says she made you who you are, taught you how to dress, bloody well introduced you to the cologne you now wear…and she will not have that woman enjoy her hard work! You have blocked that number, but she still finds ways. How annoying are some people?
Then there is the party that entertain the “unflashables”. Because you are a gentleman, and you do not want to be that guy… the bad guy. She calls, you answer, and gently, ever so gently, remind her that you are married and do not want to upset THE wife/ husband. But she whimpers and you can already picture her lower lip trembling, you buckle, and call her back while at the car wash. Yes, you are a gentleman, it is rude to roughly dismiss.
Yes, character is not above weakness.
Married But Available
Marriage is not for everyone. There I said it!
It is a lot of work, 24 hour, always in your business type of labor. Ideally, when you sign up (because you will, before man and God), there is no getting out, until one of you successfully hires a hit man to eliminate the other.
And therein lies the problem.
All hit men in Nairobi and its environs apparently are undercover members of an arm of the police. So you will therefore remain married, and your unhappiness will relentlessly cause you heartache and hatred so deep you wonder what possessed you to marry in the first place.
A solution is born though, because necessity is the mother of invention.
Your status will remain married, but the Rift Valley will forever be envious of the gap you put between your thighs. At first you had “standards”. You only did other married people. But you exhausted that pool, so you went to the “mature” able type, the ones who do not expect anything of you except a heated exchange of bodily fluids. Then that dwindled, so now you went to just single people, even younger ones, especially younger ones, or anyone really; because “si sabuni, haitaisha.”
Yes, unhappiness can not be filled by physical contact, but you will try anyway.
MWK for life
Like I said, marriage is not for everyone.
So there are those who are smarter than the average. They want to have company, but temporary, because freedom is a primary right to human life. And the single folk are too much of an investment, and they will cling, some people do not know how not to snuggle up and cuddle (seriously just leave, do not even attempt to shower please.) So the only option is to share, like a time share, actually it is a time share. Zero in on an MBA, but one who still has “standards”, and one who can still afford you luxury, over and above “love”. Enter into an agreement, because you have no intentions of having his offspring, and you do not want his last name. To be seen in public together depends on how suitable he is, a kitambi has never been cute, and remember you have an image to maintain. As long as we do not end up with Winterfell weather, you will be just fine.
Yes, affection, age and weather are very much related.
Samaki huliwa pande mbili
And then there are those who, and I am not sure about this, will swing both ways. I was made to understand that there is no need to limit yourself to just one kind, and worse still that one kind is to be found in one person? That idea was labelled as preposterous by some! So why not indulge, satisfy your curiosity, and lay to rest your canal desires? There is nothing new under the sun, whatever you think of has been done before, so there is no need to be shy they said.
But my question remains, why make the same mistake that someone else made? Would it not be easier to learn from the error in another’s ways? In as much as God promised never to destroy the earth again, there is no need to push our luck.